Empty empty parking lot big expanse of black asphalt and the lines wearing off pools of damp lamplight dim and mellow on the way home little clusters of cop cars and otherwise utter silence but then up ahead just over the highway overpass something flaming and floating in the sky thought it was a plane at first but it was in fact a paper lantern just absolutely rising unstoppably so then another and another caught sight of the last one leaving the laughing grip of a sidewalk reveler watching the lanterns rise almost ran off the road so poignant was the levitation this was after everything has closed recently wondered is there anything in this entire town that's open after midnight and no there isn't except for maybe a couple of fast food options and a gas station on the way out but even when the fog of virus has lifted one day there will still be nowhere to go just after the new year starts entered a light tailspin when desperately trying to determine under normal circumstances what time the bars close like when is last call in this small new long and lumpy city and pawing at the little glowing screen with my nails tapping like a house cat swatting at a songbird through a pane of glass this sad fact among two straight years of sad facts is the one to really gut me in high school at the 24 hour diner in town me and my buddies once spent new year's there and the server let my friend do the count down over the PA system and he grabbed the mic and shouted into it ten nine eight the nine or ten other people there were not amused but we thought it was the greatest thing ever and then shocking to remember now the older lady we used to see there all the time gave us a bottle of five dollar champagne to share among our underage selves actual champagne we felt our heads get lighter with each sip and took sudden lefts all the way home because we were scared of random cop dui checkpoints that same twennyfour hour diner was where those still standing after my indulgently goofy but lovable and surprisingly good at times high school band played its last ever show before I moved to the east coast for 15 years or whatever throwing drum equipment at members of the audience and taking off articles of clothing and somehow everyone wound up in the pool and then in the shower all together and then after all that it was back to the same diner chain and though it seems improbable now I remember quite vividly in fact that yes I did eat an enormous deluxe sundae at 5am that night that last victorious night so where now would you go and when in your life do you expect to ever need to make use of a late night hang it is rare that I am even up and awake at midnight these days much less just starting my night and being read the club's safer spaces policy before I dance until my knees and ears ache in equal measure so long utterly exhausted and without food for hours pop in to the just-opened corner store to eat a bodega breakfast sandwich in bed crumbs absolutely everywhere but I wouldn't care and the guy working says that you are the first customer of the day smiling even though they've been open all night when will I again carry all my heaviest and most ungainly belongings on my back to a bar or a basement and play for a gathered group of people when will I and the people I have just performed with ever need a place to keep hanging out after the venue turns the overhead lights on and starts sweeping up in chattanooga last year no now two years ago my first time there I asked if there was a late night diner in town and boy I was not prepared for the answer because yes there is a diner in town and its run by an actual cult yes you may verify this it is true and they are open all the time and they are famous for serving something called banana milk and the interior is made to look like an enchanted forest canopy and it turns out that their chili is actually pretty good and the longhaired men who serve there are gentle but overly rehearsed in their patter about the food and the specials it is off-putting and there's something on the menu about how tips don't actually go to the servers they go to the church that runs the deli/diner and there are pamphlets aimed at enticing the lost in a little holder at the register pamphlets that promise family and security and safety and purpose and you can see how easily it would be to be a person down on their luck and to have fallen out of normal time and just needing so badly a safe place to sit at 3am and seeing this pamphlet and wanting suddenly too to grow your hair long and dish out bowls of chili I felt a bit lost myself in that diner deep in a place I'd never been to before but how delicious is it to imagine being a little lost these days been seeing the same few rooms and the same few blocks every single day for so long how absolutely sweet it would be to get lost I want to get lost be somewhere else in another long lumpy town drinking watery black coffee at 3am not sure where I'm going to sleep but not lost enough to be afraid just really wanna get lost